story

I was holding my ears and eyes shut rather tightly to block out the yelling, and the next thing i know a sharp pain sent a shock through my face and i lost grip of my ears. I am fairly good at tuning people out, even at the loudest of times. At that point my cheek was throbbing and i felt it gradually swelling up. His voice was coarse, and his words were impudent, but despite all of that i stayed where i was. I stayed where i was because sometimes there are people you cannot stand up to.

i walked home alone again, exhausted. sometimes on those walks i would see shadows, the shadows of trees, staring at me. The thing about shadows is they have no thoughts and no thoughts means no judgment.

By the time i step in the door my dad is already waist deep in his bottle of brandy and his head flopping over the back of the couch. It amazes me how he can keep his drink in his hand and completely upright while the rest of his body is sprawled in different directions. I turn off the tv and take an educated guess that he will wake up and make it to his bed sometime around 2am. I sneak by so i don't wake him on my way to the kitchen. The floor creaks a little bit, and the freezer always makes this awful noise like someone tearing wax off of bare skin every time it is opened. i grad some ice cubes and drop them in a plastic baggie. The second i press it to my face the pain comes back again. I make my way upstairs and crawl into my bed. Its quiet now.



Everyone hates something about themselves at one point during the day. it takes no notice by others, because things like that don't show on the surface. The problem is that most people just over look each other, while my problem is the result of over analyzing and not giving people the chance to analyze me. I have a lot of little secrets, mostly because i don't think about them, also because i don't really feel that my problems are anyone else's burden nor their business. Some of my acquaintances may say that is what makes me dull. I think that is what gives me character.